Top 5 Safari Donts
Continuing in the series of Tickner’s Top Tips, here are 5 useful pointers to make it look like you know what you’re doing on your safari adventure, even if you really don’t.
It’s your first game drive, you’re so excited you can barely sit still. Am I going to fall out? Will a lion eat me? You see a flash out of the corner of your eye, blue, purple, wow! What’s that bird? You shout in unfettered enthusiasm. It’s a lilac-breasted roller. And they are stunning, and they are everywhere, so when you can say the name without hesitating you are allowed to point it out again.
Forget the wildlife and the landscape, emerging from a northern hemisphere winter, you are most excited about it being hot. So, all bleary-eyed on your first morning at 6am you jump on the car with your shorts and t-shirt. Two minutes later you are bitterly regretting your decision and spend the next two hours pretending not to be freezing your cockles off.
Then the sun comes up. Lovely warm sun. But hold on, this is African sun, and the African sun will make you miserable really quick. Sun cream? Pah! Sun hat? Pah! Cramping my style. Next morning you can’t get out of bed because you’re burnt to a crisp with heatstroke.
Some of these are tongue in cheek but some are not. Don’t make noises at the animals. Especially ‘here kitty kitty’ noises at lions. Don’t.
Safari done, you’re off to the beach for a week at a luxury safari resort, whoopee! Not only that, the kind people at your safari camp gave you a scrumptious pack lunch to eat on the way. 20 minutes into your plane ride and you start tucking into your sandwiches. Everyone else enjoys the secondary stink of your sandwiches wafting around the cabin for the remainder of the journey.
You’re a seasoned pro! Everyone will think you go on a luxury safari tour three times a year. Armed with this indispensable knowledge your safari adventure is a guaranteed success.
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